Pbenjay's Blog

Place cards for Thanksgiving dinner guests

So if you’re not cooking, you are either dining out or better yet invited to share the annual feast at someone else’s dinner table.  Either way, the end result is still the same because you….

1. Do not have to spend hours grocery shopping for myriad ingredients for dishes you make only once a year.
2. Do not have to spend 3 x what you normally spend at the grocery store each week, buying weird items like persimmons, figs, chestnuts, turnips and a 14 lb bird.
3. Do not have to pull the giblets out of the cavity of an ice cold turkey and then clean its inside  and cut off its rear end also known irreverently as the pope’s nose.Do not have to pull the giblets out of the cavity of an ice cold turkey and then clean its inside  and cut off its rear end also known irreverently as the pope’s nose.
4. Do not have to get up at the crack of dawn to stuff the turkey and put it in the oven so it is ready at 2:00pm
   
5. Can actually go to the Parade if you wish or leisurely sit in your living room with a cup of coffee all warm and cosy and marvel at the balloons and how cold everyone seems to be at the Parade.
6. Can have breakfast with the family instead of peeling potatoes.
7. Don’t have to wonder how you are really going to get everything baked and cooked with 1 oven and only 4 burners.
8. Will have time to get appropriately dressed  without an apron and even be able to put on makeup.
9. Will probably be offered some leftovers to bring home for tomorrow’s supper (bring your own containers)
10. BEST of all, you won’t be in the middle of any unresolved sibling or parent-child issues from your own family!!

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• Thanksgiving Survival Guide (theundergroundsupper.wordpress.com)