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Paraprosdokian Sentences…

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.  It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way.  So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.  Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any  more than standing in a a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you,, we’d both be wrong.

We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a train stops.  My desk is work station.  A work station is…

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire.

Some people are like Slinkies…not really good for anything but you can’t  help smilingwhen you see one tumble down the stairs.