Pbenjay's Blog

MEMO to Self:  Make sure you ask what the price per pound is before you order!!! I learned a lesson today that I WILL NEVER forget.    

English: A picture taken of a Turkey. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Two weeks ago when I was in the Delicious Orchards store buying those delicious soup mixes I checked out the price per pound on their fresh-killed turkeys.   I have a thing for fresh-killed turkeys, never been a Butterball fan with the pop-up timer and having to thaw the damn bird in my refrigerator for days.   The prices vary slightly depending on whether the turkey was organic and/or free range.  I don’t exactly remember what the actual price per pound was at Delicious Orchards but it couldn’t be too much higher than Wegman’s.  Now they are selling turkeys for $2.49 per lb. and organic free range fresh killed turkeys for $4.99 per lb.  I don’t even want to tell you that when I was a young married, you could get turkeys on sale at Thanksgiving for .59 cents per lb.  Can you believe it?  And right now I want to go on record that I resent the fact that the cent sign has been removed from keyboards.

I thought we were going to be 3 AND I swore this would be sooooooo simple a meal so I decided to just roast a turkey breast.  After all we love the white meat… sounded like a good idea to me.  I made that decision about 10 days  ago when I was in NYC and called Delicious Orchards to place my order for a Bell & Evans full turkey breast.  Bell & Evans produces really fine poultry.  I don’t know if they are just regional or national, but around here, their reputation is excellent.

Well today was my shopping day and after I went to Wegman’s to pick up all the other ingredients needed to make the sides, the salad and the dessert, I drove to Colt’s Neck to the Orchard to pick up my turkey breast and pumpkin pie and just a couple more things. The store was beyond crowded and it is NOT laid out like a regular grocery store. There are no real aisles, omg the carts were circling and weaving everywhere.

They had extra check-out counters manned so I was able to step right up and put my 1 red pepper, 2 navel oranges, a bottle of blue cheese dressing, about 6 apples, a soup mix package, a half gallon of cider, a dozen eggs,  a pumpkin pie and my turkey breast on the conveyer belt.  I had $93. with me and assumed  I had plenty of money to buy my items and then some.

YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN SHE ANNOUNCED THE TOTAL WAS $106.23! Are you f_____g kidding me?  I was so taken aback, I actually repeated the number and muttered to myself, “wow”.  Luckily I had my American Express card with me and after I paid the bill, I hurried out to my car.  It was raining so I quickly put the bags in the back seat.  I just sat in the car talking to myself about what just transpired.  After a moment or two, I picked up my cell phone and called the store from the parking lot.  

“Please connect me to the meat dept”.  “Hi, I wonder if you could tell me how much it cost per pound for a Bell & Evans turkey breast”?  “The reason I’m asking is because I just picked my order up and the turkey breast was rung up for $62.37″.  He replies, “Let’s see, the price per pound is $6.49″ .  OMG! I had been so hoping he was going to tell me it was  an error and this turkey breast did NOT cost $62.37!  “Thank you” I choked out the words.

NEVER AGAIN! 

Well I am taking this platinum-plated bird breast out tomorrow and am going to inject brine into it.  This is only the second time I ever brined a turkey.  The first time I was convinced not to do it again because it was so salty. This time I am making the brine and controlling how much I put into the breast.  Then I’m going make a garlic and herb paste that Emeril and Martha made and put it under the skin.  It goddam better be friggin’ delicious!