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Archive for the ‘Smooth or Crunchy’ Category

red convertible, raining, caught in the rain, top down, lawn furniture

Top Down and Caught in the Rain

Jim and Susan were lucky that they were near Wegman’s when the downpour started.  They took refuge under the building canopy at the drive-up window for prescriptions.  Talk about chagrined! Lawn furniture on its way back to the store because the style wasn’t right for their home after all and would only fit in the car if the top was down. Who knew it was going to rain??? Not to mention the automated voice asking them over and over again what was the number of the prescription they wanted to renew!!!

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For some reason, I have become enamored with the idea that I should have some blog days that are designated to a topic.  And I am a bit hooked on Conspiracy Theory Wednesday because as I said I think it is a throwback to my Colin McEnroe radio listening days in Hartford, CT.

Since Dark Legacy stirred my deeply buried but not lost feelings about the Kennedy assassination, I came across, well actually Peter did, but this is my blog so… we have a deck of trading cards of all things, that expose and expound upon the conspiracy behind President Kennedy’s death.  I was really intrigued by the concept – can you imagine a company produced a deck of cards called Coup D’Etat?  You can’t? Believe me it exists and Conspiracy Theory Wednesday seems to be the perfect time to delve into this fascinating and complex conspiracy theory.  Think of it as jumping the gun (no pun intended) on the 50th Anniversary of the Assassination when surely there will be a new wave of books dealing with this 20th century haunting mystery.  The following is from the first card in the deck;

The Assassination

Politics brought John F. Kennedy to Texas in 1963.  The 35th president won the conservative state in the 1960 election largely for his tough stand on Cuba, his promised defense build-up, and his Texan running mate.   But Kennedy’s 1,026 days in office were characterized by increasingly liberal policies.  The failed 1961 Cuban Bay of Pigs invasion, the 1962 Cuban Missile Crisis, the 1963  Test Ban Treaty with the Soviets and the administration’s support of Martin Luther King and the civil rights movement added to Kennedy’s growing unpopularity in right-wing circles.  In the nine months before the President’s visit to Dallas, the Secret Service had received more than 400 threats on his life.  On November 18 one of these caused the cancellation of a planned motorcade through Miami.  In Texas, a state dependent on the oil and defense industries, recent moves to repeal the sacrosanct 27.5% oil depletion allowance and plans to begin withdrawal of U.S. military “advisors” from Vietnam were viewed with particular alarm, nowhere more visibly than in Dallas, a hotbed of right wing fringe activity.  In October 1963, UN Ambassador Adlai Stevenson had been shoved, spat on, and hit with a picket sign there.  When Kennedy read the Dallas morning news on Friday morning, November 22nd, he was greeted by a full page ad in bold, black type suggesting that he was a Communist and a traitor.  A few hours later, as he rode through downtown Dallas accompanied by Texas Governor, John Connally and Vice President Lyndon Johnson, the motorcade route was lined with posters picturing Kennedy with the words, “Wanted for Treason”.  The stage was set for assassination.

If you’re interested (and it only gets better) check back next Wednesday for the next segment.

Kennedy Assassination, trading cards, John F Kennedy, Dallas, Governor John Connally, Vice President Lyndon Johnson,
Welcome to Conspiracy Theory Wednesday

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How FRUSTRATING is it to NEVER get a human being on the other end of the line?  We have all been there, listening to the endless electronic  loop of the patronizingly solicitous voice, telling us to JUST WAIT!! “We appreciate  your patience”  – I don’t want to be patient I want to talk to someone about my problem, my issue, my need, my dilemma, my complaint, my order, my subscription, my freaking whatever!!!

Now I know I don’t have any patience;  for one thing my husband always tells me so….and then being Type A+ doesn’t help and of course living in New York City where being demanding and impatient are practically not only inherent rights, but are also considered marriage material personality traits, well you can see where I’m coming from!!!

So now that the days of Operators and in many cases, Receptionists have gone the way of the Underwood typewriter and the rotary telephone, what we are left with is HI-TECH inefficiency! What is everybody doing who works in the company you’re calling – WHILE you’re waiting?  I wonder.

How do you get to that person, THE person who can answer your question, fix your problem, straighten out the situation?  I’ll tell you!

The answer is http://www.gethuman.com.  My friend, Gail (yes the same Gail who opened our eyes to the aluminum foil – cling wrap world’s best kept secret) reminded me of this site.  This is the place you want to go to WHEN you can’t get out of voicemail jail and when you want  to jump off the ” press 1 if this is correct Merry-go-Round.

This is really an unbelievable web site chock full of information about almost any major company that you would ever have to call.  It includes airlines, communications companies, stores, credit card companies and the list is endless.  On this site, you can find out how to reach a live person in the customer service department.  You can read reviews by other consumers and customers and what their real life experience was like including their waiting time.  The companies are rated, there are tips  and customer service shortcuts.

It’s amazing! Try it, you’ll like it and be sure to bookmark it. Copy and paste.

http://gethuman.com/


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Naomi Watts, Annette Benning,Samule L Jackson, unwed mother, Cherry Jones, Los Angeles,

Mother and Child

How do you feel after a movie when you realize  your emotions have been manipulated for the last 2 hours and 10 minutes?  This is a tough question; it’s a movie after all! The intent is to draw you into the story, for you to relate to the characters.  BUT, sometimes I get the feeling that the director has inserted so many ploys to tug at your heartstrings, to evoke an emotional knee jerk reaction that even though you know you’re being manipulated it’s just too much!

Movie example – many people I know will NEVER watch Sophie’s Choice again because it so rigorously and consistently plied you with the emotional equivalent of alcohol that when you leave the theater you are either high on heart-wrenching emotion or are ready to pass out from just tone too many gut-wrenching scene!

So Tuesday night we went to see Mother and Child and…… here’s my take on it. First of all I think you always have to be somewhat suspicious of a star-studded cast because some of these stars have agreed to play minor roles – it’s as if the Director called in all his markers.  This movie features Naomi Watts, Jimmy Smitts, Annette Benning,  Samuel L. Jackson, David Morse and Cherry Jones.

I’m going to come right out and be up front with the fact that from the onset, I think I may be not quite the right person to critique the movie based on the fact that I personally have Mother and abandonment issues. Having said that, my problem with the movie was that I was upset during most of it and distracted by my feelings and often found myself trying to figure out why I kept coming back to myself when clearly my life in no way paralleled the main characters of the movie.

This is a  story told a few times over with slightly different twists to each incarnation of the same plot; girl gets pregnant, decides to give child up for adoption (or not) and with that decision comes lifelong fall out.  How each character handles the decision (or not) and how the people around them are affected by the decision is certainly not a new or fresh concept.  In fact I know I have reminded my children at different times that some of their decisions are like a stone thrown in a pond – watch the ripples and see how far they reach and how long it takes for them to dissipate.  Just a fact of life, and unfortunately one that is not learned early enough in life by most of us.  Ah but you might consider this a digression…. So what was my problem?  Did I identify with the Naomi Watts character? God, I hope not, she was such a man-hater!  No! There are universal emotions which affect all of us; abandonment, loss, death, guilt, despair – love seemingly was NOT one of the movie’s intentional ploys.  Perhaps that not entirely fair since over the course of the movie, Annette Benning has a couple of epiphanies and learns to love a man,  a child (although not her own) and even Naomi has an epiphany of sorts ( I missed it obviously since I went to the Ladie’s Room) and truly evolved into a persona not even remotely recognizable as the former man-hating promiscuous, aggressive bitch that she was.  And really I was hardly gone 4 minutes, oh well that’s the m0vies for you.

There was hardly a dry eye in the theater – I could hear people all around me sniffling and snuffling.  My eyes filled up, my throat tightened, I kept wiping the corners of my eyes.  It was a teary Tuesday evening.

On the way home the four of us reviewed the movie and the performances as we are wont to do -out of the four, I am the only non-SAG member but still feel qualified to comment – after all I have seen A LOT of movies.  The consensus went like this;  Naomi is always good, Annette Benning looked old and then better, it was a good role for Samuel L. Jackson, there were a few directorial decisions that were too manipulative, parts of the movie were soooo predictable. You know a SAG audience is a tough room.

Anyway, I have tried very carefully not to reveal too much about the movie and it is 2 hours plus – do I think you should go see it?  If you need a good cry and most of us do benefit from a cathartic cry, you should go see it!

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Passover Seder, beef brisket

Oh Yummy Good Leftover Brisket

I just realized while I was eating leftover brisket from a Passover Seder that TODAY is GOOD FRIDAY and I am supposed to be abstaining from meat.  GOOD GRIEF CHARLIE BROWN! You see what can happen in a household divided and united at the same time?  I wouldn’t miss a Seder dinner with all of its meaningful traditions and Peter wouldn’t want to miss out on the Easter Parade.  So although we started out in our lives following different paths, we have always walked together. Well it makes for a lot of holidays – although it’s clear that Peter realizes Christmas is much more fun than Chanukah.

And the refrigerator… Pickled Herring for him, Roasted Red Peppers for me.  Mother’s Gifilte in a jar for him and peanut butter for me.  And now, that I ate the last of the brisket, we still have Kugel and hard boiled Easter Eggs. And for dessert we can have Matzel Toff or Cadbury Creme Eggs. It may be confusing and sometimes conflicting as in the case of eating brisket on a meatless day in Lent, but it’s NEVER BORING around here.  Happy Easter to all and a Guten Pesach too – (for some reason, they get to celebrate for a week ) while we have had 40 days of  not eating our favorite foods and only one day of celebration – EASTER.

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Easy Off the Flesh Eating Cleaner

The oven at the shore was a mess – between dropping half a dozen hot hors d’ouevres (gooey cheese, dripping sauce) in the oven on Halloween because I was rushing, not thinking and possibly the black vodka had something to do with it AND followed by Thanksgiving (well you know what that does to the oven)- this oven was yukky.  I don’t really want to do this chore and would like to say “It’s not my job!” . Turns out I am blessed because Peter says he would be happy to do the dirty work.  I really think this posture comes from the fact that he is convinced he would do a better job and so I say Gay Gezinta Hate! I had brought the can of Easy Off down to the shore from our apartment  and handed it off to Peter.  He decided he would rather clean it the old fashioned way or his way as he puts it; lots of elbow grease, a razor blade, a Brillo pad and paper towels.  AND apparently  the can of Easy Off had no fizz left in it – I wonder how old it really was?  I could have brought it with me from Connecticut, (12+ years ago) as unbelievable as that may sound! OKAY so I never said that I baked a lot, or roasted for that matter but I DO cook!

I tossed the Easy Off can into our recycle bin and forgot about it.  Last night we were to bring the trash and the bottles, cans and papers out front for pick up this morning.  I grabbed the plastic bag containing the bottles and cans and SPLAT, SPLASH – I am covered in some foaming brown stuff and it has splattered on the walls, the cat litter box, and spilled on the floor.  I am screaming, “OMG, OMG ” and some other phrases which I will not print here so I can maintain my G rating.  I yell at Peter and say “Help me”,  “Get me something, I ‘m burning!” Here comes the classic husband response: “What do you mean you’re burning?” I replied with exactly what you would think I would say  which was. “I’m burning, what do you mean,  what do I mean? I’m burning!” At this point, I am ripping my jeans off, the right leg dripping with what looks like foaming coca cola or hot chocolate.  THEN it dawns on me that the Easy Off can lid was probably not on properly and the liquid dripped out and as we know just how caustic it is, it ate through the plastic bag which I had grabbed and was swinging towards the door and myself.  As my leg was burning, I began to wonder if Easy Off was flesh eating!! I put the jeans under the faucet, tried to wash my shirt sleeve off too and Peter tackled the brown spots all over my very special Metro slippers!

The morning after the night before – I am finding brown splatters EVERYWHERE and think that some drops ate away some of the color of linoleum floor.   Geez Louise!!!!

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42 years ago today there was a snow storm. It was a Saturday and the Bridesmaids red shoes ran in the snow leaving pinkish red spots along the path to the Cathedral. Between then and now there were many many storms leaving a trail of dried red blood spots from a dying and now dead marriage. That was then, this is now! Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! Life goes forward, sins are forgiven, the past is put in a trunk in the attic and thankfully the storms passed and we are friends again. The only pinkish red in sight today is from a collection of vintage Valentine cards given to me by my husband Peter. Thank God we strive to weather any storms that come our way. That was then and this is NOW.

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Will it snow? Yes! How much? Who knows? A classic marital major difference of opinion is about to ensue – hell it has already started.  I want to go the shore, I want to go to the Super Bowl Party, of course I always want to go to an event. So it is going to snow… having lived in New England most of my adult life I know it’s just snow. And I don’t mind doing all of the shoveling, REALLY. I think it’s cozy to be in the cottage in a snow storm, there’s plenty of food in the freezer BUT not so for Peter.  Having spent his adult life in Manhattan where in a blizzard a man will come and bring you food, where you can go downstairs and a bus or a subway will do the driving for you or a taxi will take you where you want to go and he will handle the roads.  Of course since there is so much going on under the surface in the City, the snow doesn’t stick because it just melts on contact.  On the other hand, once that snow hits the road in Ocean Grove, it is apt to stay there for a looooonnnng time depending on what street you live on. Me – I’m cool, I’m on Broadway.  I think the idea of walking to Nagle’s to have some peppermint ice cream and see who else ventured out,is a great idea. Emotionally I want to go, next weekend I can’t. See saw back and forth what to do what to do? The head kicks in and says and why do you want to shovel snow and what will you do with the car on Monday when you return to NYC and there is no parking!!!

I’ll listen to the 11:00 news and hear the same predictions and turn to him and say What to do? What to do?

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