MEMO to Self: Make sure you ask what the price per pound is before you order!!! I learned a lesson today that I WILL NEVER forget.
English: A picture taken of a Turkey. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Two weeks ago when I was in the Delicious Orchards store buying those delicious soup mixes I checked out the price per pound on their fresh-killed turkeys. I have a thing for fresh-killed turkeys, never been a Butterball fan with the pop-up timer and having to thaw the damn bird in my refrigerator for days. The prices vary slightly depending on whether the turkey was organic and/or free range. I don’t exactly remember what the actual price per pound was at Delicious Orchards but it couldn’t be too much higher than Wegman’s. Now they are selling turkeys for $2.49 per lb. and organic free range fresh killed turkeys for $4.99 per lb. I don’t even want to tell you that when I was a young married, you could get turkeys on sale at Thanksgiving for .59 cents per lb. Can you believe it? And right now I want to go on record that I resent the fact that the cent sign has been removed from keyboards.
I thought we were going to be 3 AND I swore this would be sooooooo simple a meal so I decided to just roast a turkey breast. After all we love the white meat… sounded like a good idea to me. I made that decision about 10 days ago when I was in NYC and called Delicious Orchards to place my order for a Bell & Evans full turkey breast. Bell & Evans produces really fine poultry. I don’t know if they are just regional or national, but around here, their reputation is excellent.
Well today was my shopping day and after I went to Wegman’s to pick up all the other ingredients needed to make the sides, the salad and the dessert, I drove to Colt’s Neck to the Orchard to pick up my turkey breast and pumpkin pie and just a couple more things. The store was beyond crowded and it is NOT laid out like a regular grocery store. There are no real aisles, omg the carts were circling and weaving everywhere.
They had extra check-out counters manned so I was able to step right up and put my 1 red pepper, 2 navel oranges, a bottle of blue cheese dressing, about 6 apples, a soup mix package, a half gallon of cider, a dozen eggs, a pumpkin pie and my turkey breast on the conveyer belt. I had $93. with me and assumed I had plenty of money to buy my items and then some.
YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN SHE ANNOUNCED THE TOTAL WAS $106.23! Are you f_____g kidding me? I was so taken aback, I actually repeated the number and muttered to myself, “wow”. Luckily I had my American Express card with me and after I paid the bill, I hurried out to my car. It was raining so I quickly put the bags in the back seat. I just sat in the car talking to myself about what just transpired. After a moment or two, I picked up my cell phone and called the store from the parking lot.
“Please connect me to the meat dept”. “Hi, I wonder if you could tell me how much it cost per pound for a Bell & Evans turkey breast”? “The reason I’m asking is because I just picked my order up and the turkey breast was rung up for $62.37″. He replies, “Let’s see, the price per pound is $6.49″ . OMG! I had been so hoping he was going to tell me it was an error and this turkey breast did NOT cost $62.37! “Thank you” I choked out the words.
NEVER AGAIN!
Well I am taking this platinum-plated bird breast out tomorrow and am going to inject brine into it. This is only the second time I ever brined a turkey. The first time I was convinced not to do it again because it was so salty. This time I am making the brine and controlling how much I put into the breast. Then I’m going make a garlic and herb paste that Emeril and Martha made and put it under the skin. It goddam better be friggin’ delicious!
Bill Ding and his band of clowns are the security patrol for this blog site. He is a favorite toy from the 50*s. By the way sometimes a blog is just an ego-maniacal stream of conscience.
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