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Our Last Night in Guardia

The day had finally come, my last one in Guardia Sanframondi.  Over the the last two weeks, so many expats left;  Mike Simon went home today, Michael left two days ago, Sharon from Chicago left last week, Linda and Mike from Nova Scotia left,  Dan went back to England, Judith returned to Northern California, Marsha and Chris went home to NJ, Glen went back to Canada, Kelly headed to Rome,  I guess It  was time for me to leave too.  Many of those mentioned above will return in the fall for the harvest of the grapes and the olives,  I wish I could too!

I sorted out the food, some to Anna, some I could take to Pineto with me.  I had bought a lot of things while I was at Nonna’s House, things you need if you are going to live there because it is not a hotel and the kitchen really didn’t have a lot of  everyday items you need if you are going to cook.  I kept telling Peter I would ask Pasquale for the money although I kinda knew I wouldn’t. As I did discuss with him that I had made many purchases, he suggested he would put them all in a box with my name on it – a Lori box, it will be here for you when you return.  I thought that was so sweet as well as good salesmanship

Pasquale suggested we all go out for dinner that night to celebrate out last night. He would take us to a restaurant in Telese that served Florentine steak. I was up for that and hoping they really knew how to cook it and not over cook it like the veal I had that has to come from the cow not the calf. I cut it up and threw it to the dogs next door!

We are on our way…. First hugs and kisses with Anna, Pasquale’s mother just in case I don’t see her in the morning.

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Anna and me in the BAR.

Dawn is driving me and Joel is on the back of Pasquale’s new motorcycle. I told Dawn to be prepared, I was pretty sure we were in for a real “ride”.  Sure enough just as we head out of town Pasquale makes a sharp left down a steep hill, and the road twists and turns.  This is a really old road, one that goes from the town all the way down the mountain to the river!  Pasquale and Joel were zipping along, you would have thought they were racing for gold.  We tried to stay with them but common sense prevailed.

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They hardly enjoyed themselves as you can tell.

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Prepping for the ride back

The restaurant was great looking, not like any we had come across so far. The decor was a fusion of country farmhouse and Italian rustica.  Pasquale picked out four cuts of steak for us and we added insalata, chips, escarole and wine. What a feast! Heartily enjoyed by all right down to gnawing on the bone to get that tender rare meat.  If you are not in Firenze, and you want a great Steak Florentine, you must go to IL FIASCO DI VINO a Telese Terme.

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What a fun date!

The whole evening was wonderful and of course there is always room for gelato. AND Pasquale bought dessert, he took us to a special gelato place.  I love ice cream as any reader of my blog knows.  He remarked that all the Americans who come only want gelato for desert, why?  Perchce mangiare il gelato e come fare sesso!

To Be Continued….

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So good to me.  Monday mornin’ , it was all I hoped it could be….

Peter left for Rome very early Monday morning, hitching a ride with two other expats heading out of Guardia.  Luigi (Pasquale’s father) drove the trio to Telese, the nearest town with train service.

It started out all right;  the alarm went off, he had packed the night before.  I mumbled from the bed, do you have your passport? Pills? Take a banana, I love you, make sure you close the door.  And went back to sleep.

A couple of hours later, he called in a real panic!  He didn’t have his passport, it was 90 degrees in Rome and he was soaking wet from the long walk from the Termini to the somewhat obscure hotel I had found.

What do you mean you don’t have your passport?  You heard me I don’t have it.  Well of course I said, you must have it.  However Peter claimed he searched all of his bags.  Thankfully, the desk clerk let him in so he could go to the room and search thoroughly because groping in his suitcases in the lobby was difficult.  I looked in the night stand drawers and all around the bedroom.  Now we were both in a panic!  He thought he would have to come back by train and I said, why, it’s not here!  Now I know that when I’m frantic and think I’ve lost something, I keep looking in the places where it should be and it isn’t – until it is!  While we were talking, he kept searching and there it was, tucked into a small zippered pocket he hadn’t noticed before.  Thank God, that disaster was averted.

On a lighter note, when the the trio had to change trains in Caserta, Kelly and Mike had a two page printout for their tickets and Peter had one, uh oh…. Kelly to the rescue.  He calls Pasquale (who had printed Peter’s ticket out the day before) who says, “Turn it over”! Lol.

Joel was expected to land in Naples at 7:30pm.  I had arranged for Pasquale to pick him up.  About 5:00I get a frantic call from Joel ( it’s been that kind of a day), saying he got off the plane in Milan and has no ticket to go to Naples, and the flight number on his itinerary is NOT on the departure board!  OMG 😮 So back and forth we go with: well find an Air Italy desk, there are no desks here only signs for gates, there must be maybe a sign for departures, go there where people check in, I told you I’m in a part of the terminal where there is nothing, but shops, I’m screwed. Go into a retail shop..what good is that going to do? Listen to me, go into a shop they all speak English, ask where you can get information about Air Italy! OK.  They send him to some gate where, yes the flight number was changed, guess they were keeping it a secret!  Joel sends me a text saying he is getting on plane 6:15.  I show this to Pasquale and he searches the departing flights from Milan to Naples and nothing is leaving then.  Texting Joel is futile – I think he must be on the plane already since it is now like 6:10.  Pasquale continues to search for a flight leaving Milan and I’m saying maybe we should go now so we are there when he lands.  I say, please call the Naples airport they must know when planes are landing!   Come to find out Pasquale never even heard of Air Italy!!! Now as I am looking at his computer screen, I see a flight from Milan, Flight #615! Geez Louise, Joel never made it clear that the new flight number was 615 or that he was getting on the plane 6:15 and you saw how he texted it.  Color me exasperated.  So the computer says the plane will land at 7:40 which means we should be on the road already, but while we were scrolling through the list of flights, he DID call the airport.  It took a while but finally he got a hold of someone who looked up the flight and said that plane wasn’t arriving till 9:30pm because it was going to stop in Rome on the way to Naples.  Thank God we called.

So time for a quick chicken dinner with Michael and then Pasquale and I took off for Naples Airport.  If you think your airport like LaGuardia in NY or West Palm in FLA where they don’t want you to stop for a minute to pick someone up with their luggage is tough, then don’t go to Naples Airport.  The police regularly come through and make all the cars move that are semi-parked and waiting for an arrival and don’t want to pay exorbitant parking fees.

Luckily I hopped out of the car, found Joel in an instant, and we were on our way.  Joel had now been traveling for 17 hours through at least 4 time zones and he was bleary-eyed and hungry.  We stopped for pizza and gelato on the way home and we got home just after midnight.  The last of  Monday’s madness.

 

 

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OMG if you’ve never traveled trying to use an Italian GPS, you have NOT experienced the real frustration of being totally lost in a foreign country, or finding  yourself in the middle of an olive grove because the voice said turn left!

We set out on the simplest of journeys and in one day had enough close calls to bring my blood pressure up and enough cortisol running through my nervous system to unnerve a Buddhist monk.

Maybe you remember from last year or maybe not because I don’t think I even mentioned the incident.  At some point last year I noticed a huge scrape on the right rear side of the rental car!  I nearly had a heart attack right then and there.  I was with Joel at the time and we wondered if this happened when we were led into some field with NO road, just a rutted path that we kept shifting the car from left to right.  Joel said no.  He insisted Peter did it backing out of the insane driveway which is actually not a driveway but an old public road.  Of course Peter was gone and could not defend himself.  Regardless of who did it, I was hysterical – I did not take insurance out on the car 🚗 and I could only imagine the scene and the cost at the drop off location. My last week was ruined.  I called Peter crying and he calmly said, talk to Pasquale. 

I did, and Pasquale says, “No worry, you meet me at the bar at 5:00, I take you to my friend, he fix your car.” Pasquale is like The Godfather in Guardia and in two days the car was “perfetto”. 

OK that’s the back story, with that in mind AND the fact that this damn FIAT 500L is bigger than I had hoped, I am ever vigilant of any scrape or scratch.  Therefore we are not long on the road when true to reputation, the GPS has directed us  onto a road/path that actually ended in clump of trees!

To make matters worse yet better, the car is equipped with a warning system for backing up. That is beeping and flashing yellow then red as Peter carefully attempts a K turn by inches. If he goes back, there is a drop off into water, if he goes forward there are trees and two rusty iron poles (God only knows why they are there).  I am out of the car trying to guide him with my frantic pounds on the back of the car yelling STOP!

We made it out unscathed that time, hoping this isn’t a percentage game.  Onward and this particular day we seem to be driving in all the wrong directions.  There’s nothing so uncomforting as driving on a narrow twisting road and having the GPS voice repeatedly say, “when possible turn around”!

Our next mishap was somehow we ended up in an olive grove. How you ask? Well the GPS satellite doesn’t recognize the difference between a path in an olive grove or vineyard and an actual road.  So here we go again traversing a narrow path completely surrounded by olive trees with no end in sight. We don’t know if there is an end and you cannot turn around.  Onward down a hill and there is an old man on the side of the road working.  We stop…He looks at us in utter amazement.  I don’t know the Italian word for lost so I throw up my hands and shrug my shoulders, and I think he understands.  He points down the road where there are two men and a woman and a truck and a tractor.  OK it’s worth a try.  We pull up and in between hand gestures and some Italian, I make it known we want to go to Guardia Sanframondi.  Thank God I know the Italian words for left, right, and straight.

After a while on the road, I can see Guardia’s medieval castle looming in the distance.  At least we know we can get home, but we have yet to get to our destination, which is this great vino and olive oil place called Forresta in Castlevenere.  I am determined to get there to see Assunta, the owner, and buy some of her tasty olive oil.

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The Tasting Table

Destination reached, hugs, kisses and smiles.  It is so amazing to be in another country and return a year later to be greeted like old friends.  After we bought some olive oil, I promised Assunta that prossimo mesi  io ritorno con Joel, le actor.  They loved Joel who ate all their bread dipping it in olive oil.

To Be Continued…

 

 

 

 

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A lot of planning went into this trip/adventure/experience in Italy in order to make it  happen at a reasonable price and to accomodate two people traveling together but returning separately.

For one thing, we flew in and out of Rome which is not convenient to Guardia Sanframondi.  That neccessitatated each of us spending the night in Rome before we left for the USA for morning flights.  Also since Joel would be arriving in Rome at night, he would have to stay a night before taking a train in the morning to Campania to join me.

Peter left Guardia early on a Monday morning for Rome. He wanted to be able to spend the day there and meet up with Christina, our friend we met last year who manages a  B&B there.  Pasquale, who can arrange almost anything, got Peter a driver to take him to Rome right to the hotel, which I had booked right near the train station.  After he checked into the hotel I think he did have a few minutes of anxiety; it’s hard to be in a place where you don’t speak the language although in Rome that’s not such an issue BUT Peter didn’t also have a telephone there. Somehow he talked a bartender in the cccccc hotel into allowing him to make a phone call to me.  Without a smart phone or iPad he couldn’t check himself in early and didn’t remember his flight time or number.  I calmed him down and assured him I would get all this information to Christina through WhatsApp and she would relate it to him.  Really technology overseas can be your savior! samsung-galaxy-s6.

He spent the day roaming around Rome; the 9AD7035D-DE1F-46EC-BB2F-AF608C30D08F

And he found his way to the Luxe-Adventure-Traveler-Rome-Italy-Trevi-Fountain-1

He even discovered Rome’s own underground metro system which I might add he was a little disappointed in because they only have 3 lines AND the cars and stations are not very clean or pretty – Graffiti everywhere!!! IMG_5146

Later on he met up with Christina and they had tea and dinner while they waited for Joel to arrive.  Joel was due to land around 8:30pm and expected to join Peter around 9:30.  And when he did he was starving!  OK so they’ll all eat another dinner!  Look at cute these two guys are in Roma….  IMG-20180514-WA0003-2.jpg

I had them booked at the Hotel Marsala, Peter said his room was fine, Joel said his room smelled like dirty socks.  The next morning Peter took off to the airport and Joel headed to the Termini to find the train that would take him to Telese where he would be picked up and brought to Guardia.

ARRIVEDERCI ROMA

FAST FORWARD: All good things come to end eventually and the time had come for Joel and I to take our leave of Guardia Sanframondi.  It was sad, there were tears, we gave away any remaining food and we headed north to Rome, where we would spend the night and leave for the airport the next morning. 

With the pedal to the metal we made as good time as we could because we had to get the car returned by 1pm.  At least I didn’t have to encounter Andreas, the ass who was at the counter when I rented the car a month earlier.  Finally after more hairpin turns in the parking garage, we reached the 5th floor where two guys began poring over the car – finally I said, “It’s perfetto”! And we were off to the Hotel Marsala which was within walking distance but not by car which is exactly what can happen in Rome or Florence.  You can see your destination however to get there by taxi 🚕 (you remember the multiple suitcases), well we went this way, that way, and around and finally we arrived.  I was so hot and tired, I couldn’t imagine taking a room such as I imposed on Joel and Peter (single bed, shared bathroom in the hall)! So I upgraded us to a private bath and WiFi.  My room was glorious.  

I just wanted to rest because we had an evening planned for us by Jessica, one of my daughter, Chiara’s college dorm mates! Jessica moved to Italy shortly after college graduation to work in the travel industry. She married an Italian and they live in a very toney neighborhood in Rome with their adorable little girl, Beatrice.

Well Jessica outdid herself and arranged for a fabulous 2 hour golf cart tour of Rome for Joel and I.  She knew I would have  a really difficult time hobbling around with my boot and cane.  It was so much fun and our driver/private tour guide was exactly what you would expect – very good looking, tall, lean and very Italian! 

We zipped around central Rome, stopped at Church, Joel wanted to see, saw the Colliseum and learned that originally it had been totally covered in marble ( I’m not surprised after having seen marble in every house and store and bar in Guardia). The marble was stripped off to build the Basilica and the Papal Palace.  Of course we went to Trevi Fountain where Joel tossed the obligatory 3 coins in the fountain. He had received explicit instructions from our new Guardia friend, Michael on how to throw coins the night before.  I’m pretty sure he got the correct arm over the appropriate shoulder considering both he and Mike discussed this over many glasses of Luigi’s excellent wine and topped off with Limoncello.

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“Take it from me Joel, it works”.

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Mom to Joel: “Hey that’s a lot of Limoncello you’re chugging there”

 

 

Now if they work he will fall in love, get married and return to Rome….MMmmmm

To be continued…

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One late morning, Joel and I were sitting outside at Orso’s enjoying the sunshine, some coffee and wi fi.  It was a beautiful day, the cherries had turned from green to red in the past few days, the roses were in full bloom; shades of pink and red.  The fig tree was laden with burgeoning little green globes which unfortunately would not ripen till the end of summer.

Pasquale came out and asked Joel if he would go with his father, Luigi, to pick up a heavy box.  Since I was working on my iPad and he was getting a little bored, he jumped at the chance of a change of scenery.  Luigi came out and gave me the two finger  sign indicating they’d be back in two minutes.

It was more like 30 minutes, before they returned in the truck and started to unload what looked like a few large coiled wreathes.  At least that’s what it looked from across the street.

Soon it was apparent what was happening;

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Up A Tree

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Hidden From View

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Taking Direction

Luigi had enlisted Joel to help him string lights in the trees in Orso’s Garden. That’s the official name of this small oasis across the street from the B&B. I’ve spent hours there sitting in that glorious Southern Italy sunshine, drawing zentangles, talking to Peter, looking at the panorama and trying most of all to be present. 

That day watching Joel and Luigi up in the trees stringing the lights was so heartwarming.  Joel had told me that Luigi reminded him of his own great-grandfather, Luciano, a few days before.  Luigi only speaks Italian and dialect for sure, Joel knows grazie.  So how the directions were being given and followed must have been a lot of gestures and pointing!

The afternoon was getting warmer, so I ordered a Perroni, hey that’s what you do in Italy and especially in Guardia.  Are you ready for this? A bottle of beer costs 1€! Now if you want Heineken then it’s 1.50€.  Oh what a great place!

The guys had to take a break, Joel had a rash on his arms but was not going to complain because Luigi had cut his hand in a few places with the knife and shrugged it off when Joel pointed out the bleeding.  God, that reminded me of my own father! By the way, I didn’t take his picture but should have, because Luigi was also up in the trees securing lights, he is very spry.

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A Well Deserved Break

Here are a few garden photos;

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All in all this was a very pleasant day.  We went home and it wasn’t until a day or two later we found out the lights were turned on in the garden that night and everyone was eating chicken!

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It ’s Sunday evening after a harrowing day and we have reached our final destination.  We are welcomed with open arms by Pasquale, our landlord and local entrepreneur and his lovely mama, Anna.  It’s good to be back again.

After a few more pleasant exchanges, we made our way home to the apartment where we would be staying for a week or so.  I sent Peter out to a restaurant across the street for some pizza and to see if he could find a martini ( yeah good luck).   A little unpacking to settle in and find one’s toothbrush while Peter locates an English speaking channel.

The apartment is not why I came to Italy it’s why Peter came. It is modernly finished and furnished; two flat screen TVs( essential one in BR) centrally located, microwave oven, lovely bathroom, you get the picture!

WEEK One:

MONDAY: Well I told Peter the tourist-eating- out-every-meal was basically over and now we were “living” here so we better go to the grocery store.  We are near the Deco Supermarket, our next destination.  “Just a few things”, I say, “ the essentials,” which came to $94 € later and now the store manager loves me.  Probably no one else has spent that much money at one time in his store in who knows when, PLUS the cane and boot,

I’m excited to cook something that night but there may be an issue with the gas. Or it may be something lost in translation but I’m afraid to start cooking pasta and have the gas run out in the middle and I’m not getting the reassurance I need to hear from Pasquale who says he can check tomorrow. SOOoooo Peter goes to Pasquale’s bar to buy a chicken for dinner and I decide to make a fancy insalata.  My idea did not go over so well.

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Radicchio, fennel red onion and oranges just didn’t make it as salad for him.  We did have a good laugh though when we figured out that we were renting a place that should have gas but maybe didn’t from Pasquale so in order to eat, we buy a chicken from him.  Works out really well for him!

TUESDAY: When we stay at the apartment, we can go to the bar in the morning if we wish, and have grande caffe Americano, one nero and one con latte calde and our choice of a brioche. This sort of uinversal breakfast pastry varies in form and name and filling. In Florence they were smaller and referred to as a cornetto, in the U.S.A. I’ve heard them called croissants, at Orso’s it’s a bioche with cream or marmaletta or ciocolatta, or a fruit tart. We sit outside, sip our coffee, Peter reads The NY Times because his wonderful wife got a month’s subscription on her kindle for him! We spent about two hours soaking up sunshine in the garden.

WEDNESDAY: As we sat having our usual morning coffee, we were introduced to Steve and Cindy, a couple from Arizona who moved to Guardia in January permanently.  Of course that opens up a conversation of a million questions and answers.  As it turned out we were going to see a house for sale that was just doors down from them.  Unfortunately when you say a few doors down from someone in Guardia you could be talking about a 45 degree angle of uneven stones.  They came along with us to preview the house which had a most spectacular view!

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The crane to the left is there because they are working on the building that was a former convent.  This view was from the terrace!! LOVE it. But you can’t live outside even if you plan only to come in the spring or fall. The kitchen had been modernized  and had a fireplace which was probably the only source of heat. That was the only room on the first floor, maybe two steps up the staircase, there was a bathroom branched off.  BIG problem there – the stairs wind a bit upwards and are marble.  How would I ever get down in the middle of the night?  One level up was a big bedroom and then another level up there was two smaller bedrooms which could be opened to make one large. Well that’s too too many stairs and made of marble, not to mention I was pretty sure there was a leak in the roof and some water damage in the walls. No sale today.

THURSDAY: We wake up to a gray day and I notice a message on WhatsApp from Pasquale.  It’s in Italian but I think it says we should move the car because we may be over the hour – that’s my rough translation.  I send Peter down to move the car to the bottom of the staircase and I will get myself down.  As I descend, it starts to rain, I don’tsee the car! I keep going down, it’s raining harder, no car, I’m at the bottom and it is a downpour and still the car is where it was parked.  I am screaming curses as I hobble with cane to the car and get in soaked to the skin, wondering how and why the car had not been started and backed up before I got down the stairs?  Don’t bother, there is no sane answer.  For a moment we discuss the message about moving the car and we are going to head to the bar BUT it has started to hail! YES, it is May and it is hailing, big marble size pellets.

Not only was the car being drummed with ice marbles, the street was also flooding. We were parked probably closer to the more level upper end but below us it just went gushing past.

All good things come to an end, even hail,storms, so we headed down to the bar to assure Pasquale that the windows were shut! However, it’s Giovedi and apparently almost every place in Guardia is closed.  No one told us.  One little cafe up the road was open so we stopped in for a slice of pizza and a delightful arancini which is a rice ball stuffed with some sauce and peas and mozzarella.

 To be continued…

 

 

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