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Posts Tagged ‘OMG’

After a Sunday afternoon  parade of friends and family stopping by to see the new baby, life settled down a bit and Belle (Chiara’s nanny and household helper) and I made Eggplant Parmesan.  After dinner and baths (see photo) and thankfully bedtime for the girls, I sat myself down to watch all my favorite Sunday night TV shows;  Amazing Race, The Good Wife and The Mentalist.  I had to miss Masters of Sex and Homeland because they don’t have Showtime.  What does this have to do with the title of the blog? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

YES Daddy has a bathing suit on!

YES Daddy has a bathing suit on!

Day 1:  Up at 7am (ungodly hour) and the girls have to be dressed, fed and Finley starts school at 8am, Francesca at 8:15am.  Who’s driving them?  Me? What? I drive a Rav4 and a vintage Metropolitan (tiny) and they want me to drive a Tahoe!? Are you kidding me?  I am terrified of that car (and I use that term loosely since it is like a truck), not to mention I am now in Boynton Beach and uh, you want me to drive where?  Tom said he’ll ride shotgun and direct me and then we can get Starbucks.  A deal and I will learn how to use a GPS.

The rest of the day seems to just sail by, the nanny had the day off and the girls wouldn’t be back till 3pm. More friends dropped by and we heated up lots of leftovers for everyone for lunch.  What could possibly happen?  Well….when I was cleaning up I noticed a small square white ring on the dark wood table in the furnished rental house!   Nobody was around so I tried mayonnaise – didn’t work.  I tried furniture polish – didn’t work.  Google said mix ashes with water and rub gently BUT no one smokes here!  I tried vegetable oil-didn’t work.  I made a paste of salt and water and it darkened a bit. Google said  baking soda and water but I couldn’t find any in the house!  Who doesn’t have a box of baking soda in their house? or their  refrigerator??  The mark is darker but still there so I’m going to try to work on it again today.  Thankfully she doesn’t read my blog so she won’t know I did it and right now Fletcher is taking up all her time and energy, Whew!

I tried to master the Rainbow Loom;  You know the toy that 5 years olds can work – I couldn’t  get it right, perhaps you have to be 5 years old.  My first bracelet had a loop hanging, my second one didn’t quite come together so I gave up for a while anyway. Time to pick up ‘Cesca  and I was on my own – well that is me and Siri.

Dinner was later than usual and the girls were a bit on the wild side.  The many throw pillows from the couches seem to make their own version of a yellow brick road.  Foreshadowing!!  Tia called and Finley wanted to do FaceTime with her and I guess she had to pee too!  AND THEN, she came back into the living room and uttered seven words every parent dreads to hear; “I dropped your phone in the toilet”  OMG, OMG, OMG the iPhone5!?!?  Horror!  I have to hand it to Chiara, she was calm, she did not scream and she did not faint.  QUICK to the computer, what does Google say to do?  The phone was patted dry and immersed in a bed of rice, sealed in a plastic bag in less than 2 minutes!  Time to make a novena to St. Jude because seriously I think this is one of those impossibles! 

St. Jude Patron Saint of Things Impossible

St. Jude Patron Saint of Lost Causes and Things Despaired Of

Bedtime proved to be challenging; who wants another book read, who doesn’t want their water in a paper cup but rather must have a BIG glass, then the other also has to have a BIG glass, who needs to go downstairs to see Mommy – you’re getting the picture.  15 minutes later, Frankie is out of bed and coming down the stairs BECAUSE I made the mistake of telling her Mommy would come upstairs and then I never told Mommy.

I finally went to bed myself after trying once again to master the rubber band loom.  I did manage to produce what I thought was a pretty cool creation.  Sometime while it was still dark,  I heard Frankie calling out for Mommy.  Ay yi yi, I surely did not went get up, but I did.  I trekked up the stairs only to find Frankie with her father who was trying to convince her that now is really not the time to play.  I could not go back to sleep!  So I’m writing this under the influence of a very large Grande Americano – caffeine is a wonder drug!

 

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I’m going to start with the back story….

Living near the ocean does have a few drawbacks, really very, very few;  in fact the only one I’m talking about is the dampness.  Not the kind that seeps in through the screen door and windows and makes the furniture feel damp and cool  – no, not that kind.  But living near the ocean, things like snails and slugs tend to appear unwelcome on my porch or sidewalk now and again.  I have abhorrent fear and anxiety about slugs in particular.

I mean they are so slimy and icky looking – like some kind of spineless blob from outer space that seems to traverse without legs.  I literally can’t stand the sight of them.  We’ve come home a couple of evenings over the years and found a long slug on the sidewalk and I got the willies whatever they are!!  I make Peter pick up the slug on a piece of cardboard or newspaper and insist that he toss it over the fence into our neighbor’s yard.  They (slugs) are SO GROSS.

Two days ago, my contact lens was bothering me and those of you who know me, know that I have a history of problems with the lens in my eye because I have some scarring on my cornea, but that’s another story.  I’ve been giving the eye a vacation from the lens and trying to use glasses.  However, my glasses are not prescription, just readers and since they are really only good for close up reading or work, I didn’t have them on when I went upstairs to change my clothes.  It was dark and the door to the porch was open and our neighbors across the backyard were home – thank God their doors were shut, they must have had their air conditioners on.  I took off my clothes and put on pajamas and hung up my pants and I was barefoot.   I moved the door to a more open position now that I was dressed and stepped away.  When I looked back and down, this is what I saw…..

OMG!!!!

OMG!!!!

 Needless to say I screamed, “Peter, Peter, PETER!”  Still no answer;  The TV was on upstairs and downstairs and he was in the kitchen.  I grabbed the remote, hit mute, went to the top of the stairs and screamed again, Peter! You better come up here NOW”!  He came flying up the stairs, out of breath and said, “What is it? What? Is there a bat”?  I pointed to the floor and said, “LOOK! You better get it out of here, OMG how did it get in the house? OMG I could have stepped on it” 

With wife on the verge of hysteria, my husband runs downstairs and grabs paper towels while noting OUT LOUD that there were no more paper towels!!  He returned and got on his hands and knees while I fretted and fumed and worried sitting on the bed.  He stood up quickly with paper towel crumpled in his fist and I said, “What did you do with it?” He showed me……

A Hair Clip ! REALLY??

A Hair Clip ! REALLY??

I laughed so hard I thought I would either cry or pee in my pants!  I mean, “Really, really?”  All in the life and times of living with Lori.

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