God, I hope not! It is still really dark outside and I hear the pitter patter of little feet approaching my room. You know even without opening your eyes that there is someone in your presence; Sure enough, Francesca is looking at me! I say, “What are you doing up? Is the owl green?” She just looks at me…There is an owl light in the girl’s bedroom and all night the light is yellow but it’s set for 7am and the rule is you don’t get up until the owl is green! (of course you can get up but you have to stay in your room till 7am) So I suggest that it’s quite possible that since it’s still dark, Santa might be still putting presents downstairs under the tree. Still no response just an adorable smile which is hard to see because it IS still dark. I look at my phone and it’s 6:30. “Frankie, c’mon I’ll take you back to your room and then in a little while we can go downstairs”
I figured we had maybe another 15 minutes to rest before Christmas mayhem began. I had been hoping to give the girls some of their presents on Christmas Eve so they wouldn’t be lost in the mound of treasures left by Santa, but that didn’t work out. Finley can read and we thought it would nice if she distributed gifts. That lasted about 2 minutes and then the mad cap ripping began with me periodically shouting, “Check the name on the box first”. That was followed with “How come she gets two books? How come she has gel pens and I don’t ?”
![Ruthie Wearing Her New Silk Pajamas](https://pbenjay.blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/f6621_main_2.jpg?w=500)
Ruthie Wearing Her New Silk Pajamas
Eventually all the Hello Kitty paraphernalia was uncovered, the American Girl dolls now had a bed of their own along with new clothes. Best of all Frankie and Rebecca had matching pj’s and Finley and Ruthie had matching dresses with leggings. There were books, and more princess dresses (Really! How many Disney princesses are there?) bean bag chairs with each girl’s name and a teepee. Well if your tent is shaped like a teepee but it is made from pale pink striped cotton duck, is it still a teepee? I gave Frankie a book which I thought she would enjoy and she took one look at it and said, ” I don’t like this book”. I asked her why and her answer was, “I only like Princess books”. Francesca always speaks her mind; Earlier, the girls emptied their stockings and discovered candy cane holders filled with M&M’s. For days, there has been MUCH discussion about healthy eating, what’s nutritious, should we cook everything in coconut oil and on and on So Frankie wants to open her candy and eat some before we open presents. Justin is horrified and tells her “No, no we have to breakfast first” . Frankie states the facts as she sees them, “I LOVE CANDY”.
At about this time, in rolled the rest of the gang. Of course our whole entourage could not fit in one house so Chiara and Tom rented a house nearby for the overflow of guests. We’re leaving tomorrow, some are leaving on Saturday, some are staying longer and the guest room sheets have been changed every couple of days. First to arrive for the opening of the gifts were Dennis, Brad and Tom Sr. and Lisa. Linda and Ed were expected shortly; They were flying in from Long Island.
More gifts…oh no roller blades. And who thinks that the girls should put them on right now and try them out? Well I’ll tell you it wasn’t any of the mothers. It was the two bachelors and Tom! Sometimes it’s hard to tell who the kids are and who the adults are. We got everybody back into the house and just as I thought we might have breakfast, there was open more present to be had – the girls were ushered to the garage where they came upon not a midnight clear but rather a battery-operated car! It seats 2 and with Finley at the wheel, the girls were tooling around the yard. Everybody thought they were so cute until Finley stepped on the speed pedal and veered toward the pool! At least 3 of the grandparents screamed. “BREAKFAST IS SERVED”
Egg casseroles, bagels, croissants, fruit salad, and muffins and by God we are in Florida because half the people are eating outside. The mimosas are flowing and the adults are happy. The kids are eating whatever they want and sitting outside in the sunshine it surely doesn’t seem like Christmas. We are going to take it easy for awhile before we have to be at Laura’s house for Christmas dinner.
Stay tuned for Part II.
Ten Worst Christmas Movies!!!
Posted in BY THE WAY, From My Point of View - Personal commentary on Movies and Books, Thursday's Top Ten, tagged Christmas, Fred Claus, Santa Claus, Santa Clause on December 23, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Ho ho ho lookee here! Even Santa has had some bad scenes – Christmas movie bombs. Do you agree? Got any you want to add? Pre-screening advice – drink a lot of eggnog!
Editor’s Note: In honor of the 2008 Christmas Holiday, we’ve decided to resurrect the following article — our Ten Worst Christmas Movies of All-Time list, which was written during Christmas 2007. Oddly enough, the following choices still hold up today.
Just as Hollywood launched us into the summer movie season with Spider-Man 3 in early May, they’ve jumped the gun on the Christmas season with Fred Claus. However, this wasn’t as heartwarming as the umpteen radio stations playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving, ‘cause Fred Claus really sucked ass.
So that got us thinking… What other Christmas movies suck ass? For every It’s a Wonderful Life, there’s gotta be a crapstorm of a film to balance it out. So we looked at the holiday movies over the years, and we came up with our list. To make the list, the film had to either be about Christmas (or Santa Claus) or have Christmas an integral part of the plot. (It can’t be like Gremlins, which did suck ass, but really was just set during Christmastime rather than being about the holiday.)
Flame on!
10. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
With a title like this, it’s almost too easy. And while you most likely have seen this one during the good old Mystery-Science Theater 3000 days, you can still catch it on video and even aired by one of the Turner networks in December. It features a wino Santa and Martians so crappy they put Plan 9 from Outer Space to shame. Oh, and it’s got Pia Zadora in it, too!
9. The Nativity Story (2006)
We can just imagine the pitch meeting in Hollywood. Some lunkhead producer yelled, “The Passion of the Christ made more than $300 million! What else can we mine from the Bible?” So they cast the 15-year-old Keisha Castle-Hughes, who got herself pregnant for the film’s release (which really pissed off the Pope). Here’s a hint… she wasn’t carrying the baby Jesus.
8. Fred Claus (2007)
Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti were cobbled by the family-oriented bent of this film. It just goes to prove that Vince Vaughn just ain’t funny if you don’t let him swear (or if he is wearing a dress and killing people).
7. Miracle on 34th Street (1994)
Who the hell had the brilliant idea of remaking this indelible classic… again? The cast was lame, and the climactic courtroom scene was ruined with an unnecessary rewrite. In the 60th anniversary DVD of the original, Maureen O’Hara giggles at the fact that every remake of this film has bombed. You go, Mo!
6. The Santa Clause 2 (2002)
Yeah, we know this is a cash cow for Disney, but that doesn’t make it any good. The first film was okay, but this one was lame. Even worse, the moronic director did the entire DVD commentary as if he got permission to shoot in the North Pole with the real Santa and his elves. I guess he didn’t realize that second graders don’t listen to DVD commentaries.
5. Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
Hey look! Another Tim Allen movie has made the list! Written by legal novelist John Grisham, this awkward holiday comedy showed that even a bestselling author can inspire crap.
4. Deck the Halls (2006)
Why does Matthew Broderick keep getting cast in movies? He hasn’t done a live-action film worth a bucket of snot since Election. And how could Danny DeVito sign on for this stinker? He must have needed rent money. A war of holiday lights turns into wacky family comedy… so much so, you’ll want to throw up.
3. Black Christmas (2006)
After the Weinstein Company’s dismal release of Wolf Creek on Christmas Day 2005, they tried to repeat their mistake with a horror movie remake in 2006… and they were successful in failing. Maybe they should have had some of the young hotties in the cast (e.g., Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lacey Chabert or Michelle Trachtenberg) do a gratuitous nude scene.
2. The Santa Clause 3 (2006)
It’s Tim Allen again, dishing out more holiday pain. But this time, he’s joined by the show-tune loving Martin Short as Jack Frost. Arguably a better premise than #2, the movie melts down in the end with the cheesiest ending since V: The Final Battle.
1. Surviving Christmas (2004)
Nothing says Christmas in October like James Gandolfini in a Santa hat. ‘Nuff said.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Jingle All the Way (1996) – We thought this would be a shoe-in, considering what a joke people remember it to be. But watch it with your kids, and you might agree it doesn’t even belong on this list.
The Preacher’s Wife (1996) – Okay, we admit it… neither Fat Guy actually has seen this film. We just figured that since it had Whitney Houston in it, it must suck ass.
For more lists, banter and random shenanigans, visit Fat Guys at the Movies.
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