Posts Tagged ‘Disorders’

Oil on canvas

Narcissis =-Oil on canvas (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mental Health Monday looks into the world of narcissisim. Here’s what Dr. Barry Lubetkin has to say about this subject.

“One third of couples who seek me out for relationship therapy apparently have at least one member who demonstrates features of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This condition can be a killer to healthy intimacy and good communication in relationships. One partner will regularly demonstrate extreme vanity, expectations for special treatment, a hunger for admiration, and most destructively, an inability to feel and express empathy for their partner. They also tend to be exploitative of others and have a very tough time handling critical feedback.

While exact etiology is unknown, extreme over praise OR severe criticism as a child have often been implicated. Depression often accompanies this personality temperament.

The Narcissist simply is so self absorbed that they are unable to anticipate the hurt feelings of a partner. They have great difficulty putting themselves “inside” the heart and mind of the other. Empathy is non existent, or can be faked in order to gain the admiration of the partner or the partner’s family. Without intense and prolonged therapy narcissists do not develop the kind of insight that allows them to overcome their basic insecurity which they then cover up in an attempt to protect their fragile selves.

If any of these descriptions fit the one you love,insist that they seek out professional help!”

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A brief but meaningful and call to action this MENTAL HEALTH MONDAY  from Dr. Barry Lubetkin.

” I have only one mental health message today. As we all have read,the physical and mental health needs of our veterans are simply being ignored by an incompetent and overwhelmed VA system. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,Depression,Drug Addiction and numerous other mental and behavioral disorders have become endemic among our soldiers,sailors and airmen. They defend us with their lives and the bureaucracy makes them wait months for medical and psychiatric appointments.

Today,take out 5 minutes and email your congressman or congresswoman and demand that this national shame be repaired. Thank you!”

Dr. Barry Lubetkin

What Does It Mean To You?

What Does It Mean To You?

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Death Calls Us All

Death Calls Us All

Mental Health Monday continues our weekly series today with an eye-opening, hard-hitting look at the deep-seated fear and anxiety we all have about dying and death.  Dr. Barry Lubetkin, interestingly chose this topic today, the very day after the Christians of the world celebrated the Resurrection of Jesus Christ – this is just my personal observation.

“A 76 year old gentleman consulted me recently concerning his lifelong Type-A behavior at work and at home.  He never rested, he told me. He was always ON, working, strategizing, planning. He hadn’t vacationed in years and refused to ever consider retirement.  He had denied his family countless hours of quality time with him, while he went about driving himself,  never stopping to smell the roses.  After several hours of therapy it became clear that one of the motivators behind his inability to relax and stay in the moment was a profound fear of dying. By never quieting himself, he was able to continuously distract himself from anticipating his own demise.

This case is not the exception.  As Baby Boomers begin to experience the physical and mental effects of their aging, they are forced to consider the inevitability of their own mortality. While many are able to accept with grace that dying is a natural part of living, many others secretly live their lives with terror about dying, and develop mental and physical behaviors designed to DENY its reality. Obsessive compulsive behavior, cruel and sadistic personality styles, certain phobias, depression, severe anxiety, and even ironically, suicidal thoughts are often partially driven by unexpressed anxiety about dying.

Since we all are going to die eventually, we had better become as proactive as possible in de-horrorfying and de-catastrophizing our thoughts about our eventual demise. A sensitive and experienced cognitive behavior therapist can be helpful. Also I strongly recommend the best book on the subject of overcoming terror about dying….”Staring at The Sun” by Psychiatrist Sydney Yalom.  It should be required reading for all of us.  It is that good!”  As always feel free to email me at IBT104@AOL.com

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English: A Diagram of procrastination cycle. T...

English: A Diagram of procrastination cycle. Task features, internal factors, irrational beliefs, behavior and consequences are shown. used for a university assessment. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This week, Dr. Barry Lubetkin taps into our discomfort zone and offers us sound advice on how to stay motivated.

Discomfort Dodging and the Comfort Junkies

To one degree or another we are all discomfort dodgers. We believe in the mañana principal;  If it’s a hassle or uncomfortable to get to, then just put it off until tomorrow!  Stay within your comfort zone…don’t venture into activities that might cause anxiety or hard mental or physical stress!

Of course the problem with this mental attitude is that by regularly avoiding the day to day hassles of life (eg. studying, housework, cold calling, writing a paper, visiting a doctor,  asking for a raise, etc., etc.) we allow things to go unaccomplished, anxiety and stress increase, self esteem suffers, and the forward progress that we all want to achieve in our lives stalls.

When we dodge discomfort what exactly are we telling ourselves? “I don’t have the mental energy to do the task”, “I’ll be too embarrassed,” It’s too difficult,” If I’m successful they will expect more,”  etc., etc. blah, blah, blah!

Once you have determined the exact cause of your unhelpful whining…CHALLENGE IT!  Discover that you really have little evidence to support your idea that you can’t possibly do the task. Remind yourself that you have done it many times before. Will there really be no mental cost if you remain on your couch and do nothing?  Of course there will be!

Every day choose one task you have been dodging, and push yourself to accomplish it. Ask a friend to support your decision. Spend much more time in the zone of discomfort and abandon the zone of complacency. Here’s a task: email me, at ibt104 @aol.com and tell me what you think.

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Acrophobia logo, roto-drop at Six Flags Over G...

Image via Wikipedia

We’re not talking about the mundane phobias here like fear of heights, these are for the really crazy people, you know, like you and me!

  1. Ablutomania – a mania for washing oneself
  2. Acarophobia – fear of itching or those insects that cause it
  3. Acousticophobia fear of noise
  4. Aicmophobia – fear of needles and other pointed objects
  5. Algophobia – fear of pain
  6. Amathophobia – fear of dust
  7. Amaxophobia – fear of riding in a car
  8. Ambulophobia – fear of walking
  9. Anuptophobia – fear of staying single
  10. Apanthropy – dislike of being with people, love of solitudeW

Just wait till we get to the B’s!!!  What are you afraid of?


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