Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Barry Lubetkin’

Now here’s some thoughts and words you probably never expected to hear a therapist talk about.  Dr. Barry Lubetkin sounds off on his profession!

 

 

 

Personality and Psychotherapy - John Dollard a...

Personality and Psychotherapy – John Dollard and Neal E. Miller (Photo credit: Gwendal_)

 

” The experience of psychotherapy and mental health counseling is such a potentially life changing period in so many peoples lives that it should require the practitioner to proceed with the highest degree of professionalism , intelligence and creativity. And yet several times each month new patients to my practice complain about past therapists who they feel let them down in one significant way or another. Therapists are imperfect human beings of course,but some of these “errors” seem way beyond the pale.

 

The therapist who insists that you MUST continue with sessions even though you are quite certain you need to take a break.
The therapist who charges you for missed sessions when you are on vacation.
The therapist who never discusses explicitly the goals of therapy.
The therapist who often seems distracted,sleepy or disinterested during your session.
The therapist who gossips about other patients or about the celebrities they have treated.
The therapist who is so stuck on one theoretical orientation,that they won’t study the literature about other approaches which might help you.
The therapist who NEVER gives advice and ALWAYS asks “what do you think”
The therapist who gets defensive when you say you want a second opinion from another therapist.
The therapist who belittles you.

 

The list could be much longer! You have the right as a patient to question your therapists behavior and skills. DONT accept laziness,indifference,or NON constructive criticism. There are many many wonderful,compassionate and skilled therapists out there. Find one and celebrate your own growth!”
You can reach Dr. Lubetkin to obtain more information or to ask a question at: The Institute For Behavior Therapy at IBT104@AOL.com 

 

 

 

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Read Full Post »

A brief but meaningful and call to action this MENTAL HEALTH MONDAY  from Dr. Barry Lubetkin.

” I have only one mental health message today. As we all have read,the physical and mental health needs of our veterans are simply being ignored by an incompetent and overwhelmed VA system. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,Depression,Drug Addiction and numerous other mental and behavioral disorders have become endemic among our soldiers,sailors and airmen. They defend us with their lives and the bureaucracy makes them wait months for medical and psychiatric appointments.

Today,take out 5 minutes and email your congressman or congresswoman and demand that this national shame be repaired. Thank you!”

Dr. Barry Lubetkin

What Does It Mean To You?

What Does It Mean To You?

Enhanced by Zemanta

Read Full Post »

This week’s Mental Health tip needs no introduction from me – the title says it all!

” The National Institute for Mental Health estimates that many many millions of Americans should be receiving mental health services for their problems. Add to that the vast number of individuals who might benefit from Psychotherapy and Counseling as a prevention for future problems, and those who simply want to share their secret fears, dreams, and joys with another human being who can be objective and non judgment in his listening and feedback.

The stigma is gone!!!! Many folks talk openly about their counseling. Hundreds of self help groups and organizations abound. Getting Psychological help is now seen as a sign of strength and maturity. Several of my single patients require their new partners to get psychological checkups as often as requiring HIV testing! If you are brutally honest with yourself you know that there is some fundamental issue in your life that you have not been able to resolve. Perhaps an unresolved family conflict, a lifetime phobia, or an elusive feeling of happiness that always feels out of reach.

Many insurance policies cover Psychotherapy with a professional therapist. There is no excuse for not at least seeking out a couple of sessions. Think for a moment…….what are you afraid of? Often the fear is that you will reveal more of yourself TO YOURSELF than you think you can handle!  Get out of denial and take a real healthy risk for yourself.”

Tell me how it goes at shpilkes@aol.com

Thanks as always to Dr. Barry Lubetkin, who generously shares a weekly Mental Health topic with us.

Logo of the National Institute of Mental Health.

Logo of the National Institute of Mental Health. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Enhanced by Zemanta

Read Full Post »

MENTAL HEALTH MONDAY

This week’s topic, Writer’s Block, couldn’t be more timely for me personally.  For the past several months I’ve been struggling with my blog.  I do like to write and I have a fairly good regimen (okay sometimes not so regular) and perhaps if I apply the principles outlined in Dr. Barry Lubetkin‘s mental health tip this week, I’ll find that it isn’t so important as to how many people read this every day and remember that I write because I like to and a little discipline  would be a good thing!

“We are all writers……students……bloggers……executives…….moms………novelists….. We can usually write the simple stuff without procrastinating or being perfectionistic;  Birthday cards, shopping lists,brief memos,etc etc, all get done with relative ease. BUT when it comes to the words that convey the really important stuff about ourselves and our theories and ideas, we often get stuck.

#ds139 "Writer's Block"

#ds139 “Writer’s Block” (Photo credit: Sharon Drummond)

I have treated dozens of writers who struggle every day to overcome their writing paralysis. Usually, but not always, the culprit is obsessive perfectionism. “Will anyone really like this”, “I am out of ideas”, “This seems really dumb”, “I will get to it tomorrow”, “I have to make this perfect”.

Here is a quick solution to this form of writers block;  First, set a sacred unchangeable time EVERY DAY to write.  An hour, twenty minutes, it doesn’t matter. Go to a comfortable private place, set a timer, and start writing. Even if all you produce is gibberish and nonsense words, you must still WRITE! Do nothing else during this period. Once you have established a regular routine of writing at the same time every day, then you may extend the writing period as needed. At the end of your sacred writing time, reward yourself with something meaningful…a special treat…call a friend…tune on a mindless TV show…write yourself a complimentary note. You deserve it!”

As always feel free to email me at IBT104@AOL.com

Enhanced by Zemanta

Read Full Post »

May is Borderline Personality Disorder month! Who knew?  Well Dr. Barry Lubetkin certainly knew and this week he shares some insight into this very common but difficult diagnosis and treatment.

” Borderline Personality Disorder………The toughest diagnosis

Did you know that by an action of Congress, May is Borderline Personality Disorder month!!  BPD is a most challenging mental disorder; It is characterized by many of the following symptoms:
1.Emotional instability and impulsivity.
2.Poor interpersonal relationships and poor self image
3.Intense fears of abandonment.
4.Manipulative behavior to obtain nurturance
5.Drug and alcohol abuse
6.Increased probability of suicidal gestures or attempts.

Individuals with BPD (three times as many are woman then men), are often the toughest challenges to therapists, and often resist potentially effective treatment. While medication and directive Cognitive Behavior Therapy may help reduce paralyzing symptoms, progress is often slow and inconsistent.  Research now indicates that the most promising approach is called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).  It consists of intensive group and individual therapy focusing on helping patients control emotional upheavals by learning how to soothe themselves, practicing developing new interpersonal skills, resisting the impulse to condemn themselves, challenging irrational assumptions about how others view them, and a whole lot more.  In New York City, The Psychiatry Department at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital offers this treatment.

The best books out on the subject are…..”Stop Walking on Eggshells“, “I Hate You,Don’t Leave Me” and any excellent text by Dr. Marsha Linehan,the discoverer of DBT.  Contact me at the Institute For Behavior Therapy at IBT104@AOL.com for more info.”

Cover of "Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taki...

Cover via Amazon

Enhanced by Zemanta

Read Full Post »

Death Calls Us All

Death Calls Us All

Mental Health Monday continues our weekly series today with an eye-opening, hard-hitting look at the deep-seated fear and anxiety we all have about dying and death.  Dr. Barry Lubetkin, interestingly chose this topic today, the very day after the Christians of the world celebrated the Resurrection of Jesus Christ – this is just my personal observation.

“A 76 year old gentleman consulted me recently concerning his lifelong Type-A behavior at work and at home.  He never rested, he told me. He was always ON, working, strategizing, planning. He hadn’t vacationed in years and refused to ever consider retirement.  He had denied his family countless hours of quality time with him, while he went about driving himself,  never stopping to smell the roses.  After several hours of therapy it became clear that one of the motivators behind his inability to relax and stay in the moment was a profound fear of dying. By never quieting himself, he was able to continuously distract himself from anticipating his own demise.

This case is not the exception.  As Baby Boomers begin to experience the physical and mental effects of their aging, they are forced to consider the inevitability of their own mortality. While many are able to accept with grace that dying is a natural part of living, many others secretly live their lives with terror about dying, and develop mental and physical behaviors designed to DENY its reality. Obsessive compulsive behavior, cruel and sadistic personality styles, certain phobias, depression, severe anxiety, and even ironically, suicidal thoughts are often partially driven by unexpressed anxiety about dying.

Since we all are going to die eventually, we had better become as proactive as possible in de-horrorfying and de-catastrophizing our thoughts about our eventual demise. A sensitive and experienced cognitive behavior therapist can be helpful. Also I strongly recommend the best book on the subject of overcoming terror about dying….”Staring at The Sun” by Psychiatrist Sydney Yalom.  It should be required reading for all of us.  It is that good!”  As always feel free to email me at IBT104@AOL.com

Enhanced by Zemanta

Read Full Post »

(A swedish diagram showing the effect on a fre...

(A swedish diagram showing the effect on a frequency of a behavior when under positive reinforcement) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU CATCH A SPOUSE OR CHILD DOING SOMETHING GOOD?  Seems like it should be a simple answer but ….not always!  Read what Dr. Barry Lubetkin has to offer in the way of good communication and parenting skills:

“The research is unambiguous and definitive…….Positive reinforcement is far superior to negative reinforcement (punishment), when the goal is to influence and strengthen another’s behavior. And yet despite this fact,we human beings continue to yell,humiliate,undercut and generally disparage others when they engage in a behavior or habit that we find undesirable or annoying.

Witness the mother who continues to yell at the child who curses out loud. The child continues to curse and is often reacting to the mothers attention even though it is negative. Witness the wife who continuously shames her husband each time he leaves his dirty clothing out without bringing it to the laundry. More often then not her negative reaction does not diminish the sloppy behavior at all, but simply leads to anger and passive aggressive behavior.

But what would the results be if that same mother chose to hug and praise the child when 10 minutes elapse without cursing……..and do it again 10 more minutes later! And what if the wife thanked the husband immediately after he picked up his socks and repeated that praise whenever he attempted (even if not completely successful) behaving in a less slovenly manner. If positive reinforcement is given immediately and consistently after a desired behavior is demonstrated, it will strengthen the probability of that behavior occurring again.

“Catching a child being good” has been a mainstay of child behavior therapy for many years,so it is surprising how few parents practice it. Here’s an assignment…..choose one behavior or bad habit that your child or partner continues to do and wait 10 minutes for it not to occur and then immediately thank and praise them for not doing it. Repeat every 10 to 30 minutes or when appropriate, and watch that bad habit begin to diminish! ”  Email me at IBT104@aol.com with your results!

Enhanced by Zemanta

Read Full Post »

English: A Diagram of procrastination cycle. T...

English: A Diagram of procrastination cycle. Task features, internal factors, irrational beliefs, behavior and consequences are shown. used for a university assessment. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This week, Dr. Barry Lubetkin taps into our discomfort zone and offers us sound advice on how to stay motivated.

Discomfort Dodging and the Comfort Junkies

To one degree or another we are all discomfort dodgers. We believe in the mañana principal;  If it’s a hassle or uncomfortable to get to, then just put it off until tomorrow!  Stay within your comfort zone…don’t venture into activities that might cause anxiety or hard mental or physical stress!

Of course the problem with this mental attitude is that by regularly avoiding the day to day hassles of life (eg. studying, housework, cold calling, writing a paper, visiting a doctor,  asking for a raise, etc., etc.) we allow things to go unaccomplished, anxiety and stress increase, self esteem suffers, and the forward progress that we all want to achieve in our lives stalls.

When we dodge discomfort what exactly are we telling ourselves? “I don’t have the mental energy to do the task”, “I’ll be too embarrassed,” It’s too difficult,” If I’m successful they will expect more,”  etc., etc. blah, blah, blah!

Once you have determined the exact cause of your unhelpful whining…CHALLENGE IT!  Discover that you really have little evidence to support your idea that you can’t possibly do the task. Remind yourself that you have done it many times before. Will there really be no mental cost if you remain on your couch and do nothing?  Of course there will be!

Every day choose one task you have been dodging, and push yourself to accomplish it. Ask a friend to support your decision. Spend much more time in the zone of discomfort and abandon the zone of complacency. Here’s a task: email me, at ibt104 @aol.com and tell me what you think.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Read Full Post »

Apologies readers, today just got away from me and I was unable to post our weekly Mental Health Monday but here it is.  This week, Dr. Barry Lubetkin explores sexuality, fetishism and fantasy, I’m sure you’ll want to read this week’s column.  Here is what he has to say:

 

BDSM_buttons_spanking_L

BDSM_buttons_spanking_L (Photo credit: CapesTreasures)

Since I began my career over forty years ago, no book has ever stirred the passions of my female patients more then the “pornmantic” best seller Fifty Shades of Gray .  It gave a voice to the often hidden sexual drives of women who desire more than just the vanilla, missionary position, warm and cuddly sexual play. It brought BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism) out of the closet and into suburban bedrooms throughout America.

 

The powerful eroticism of enhancing sexual intimacy with fetishistic clothing, dominant submissive role playing, spanking, power exchange, etc., has finally been experienced by many thousands of couples who knew these fantasies existed in the deeper regions of their minds, but never felt free enough to express them. It is helpful that the main ethos of the BDSM community is to always keep these activities SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL. The Internet is full of websites designed to guide the adventurous into experiencing a more variable and satisfying sex life.

 

Far too many marriages suffer from a deteriorating sex life because partners are unwilling to “take a chance” and try something different. A 62 year old male patient had felt embarrassed and “perverted” to ask his girlfriend to wear a particular outfit during sex. Her willingness to do so greatly enhanced his arousal level and ultimately improved their sex life overall.

 

Be willing to have those initially embarrassing but ultimately freeing conversations with your partner about fantasies, turn offs, “hot spots” during sex play. Talk “dirty” if that moves you, try new body areas to explore, but always…ALWAYS, keep verbal communication going, so everyone remains on the same page. As always I am available at IBT104@aol.com for more info.”

 

Dr. Barry Lubetkin has been a guest on several talk shows including  the Oprah Winfrey show and Carole Altman’s. Ms. Altman is the author of Electrify Your Sex Life: How To Get Rid Of Sexual Hangups and Inhibitions.

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Read Full Post »

We ask our friends for recommendations for doctors, dentists, babysitters, hairdressers, real estate agents and just about anything and everything else BUT we are shy, embarrassed and hesitant about asking for a referral of a “good therapist”.  And then there’s the question as to what type of mental health professional we should seek out.  Dr. Barry Lubetkin sheds some light on this subject today. 

Mental Health Awareness Ribbon

Mental Health Awareness Ribbon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

People are often very confused about who to seek out for mental health diagnosis,therapy, counseling and medication. And once some professional has been chosen,how does one know that this is the right person for them. Unfortunately often, because of the stigma that still is associated with the need for Psychiatric or Psychological help, friends recommendations are often replaced by random choices from impersonal insurance provider lists.

These are the categories of mental health professionals:
Psychologists PhD or PsyD:  A minimum of 4 years post college graduate training plus a 1 year clinical internship. Specializing in providing various types of psychotherapy and diagnostic assessment. An ABPP distinction after their degree signifies advanced competence in their particular specialty.

Psychiatrists MD: A minimum of 4 years post college Medical School, plus a 1 year internship and at least a 2 year residency in Psychiatry, specializing in diagnosis and psychopharmacology treatment of mental disorders. Fewer and fewer Psychiatrists spend their time providing hour-long psychotherapy sessions.

Social Workers: MSW, LCSW, DSW: A minimum of 2 post college years, plus at least 1 year of intense clinical practicum training.
Mental Health Counselors. CMHC, LMHC: A minimum of 2 post college  years to earn the Masters degree in their specialty,and at least 2000 hours of intense supervised clinical training.

When choosing a therapist, you must ask yourself whether you have “chemistry” with the professional…? Are you feeling understood, not intimidated, trusting? And most importantly, does this person have the requisite training and experience to deal with your particular problem? Don’t be afraid to ask  what specialized advanced workshops or training programs they have taken pertaining to your particular problem…Have they treated people with your problems before…?  How long should you expect to be in treatment?

In this most important of all medical endeavor…exploring your mind, you need to be a smart and knowledgeable consumer. I am available at IBT104@aol.com for further guidance.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »