Posts Tagged ‘Sexuality’



Whoa! Dr. Barry Lubetkin is touching on a very hot topic this week.  One that I dare say touches many of us and/or members of our families!  Just think about the hours spent on mindless game playing, endless emails (as opposed to face to face or person to person phone calls) as a form of communication and add in the timeless fascination with the Internet as the go to resource for information and fact on any and every subject in the world.  

Mental Health professionals are disturbed by the growing dependence on the intense pleasure and distraction capability that chronic cruising the internet is providing millions;  Teenagers who search endlessly for games or social media contacts. Stay at home moms who seek out shopping bargains and then return everything because the initial impulse to buy was fueled by boredom.  Men, both lonely and married, and often both, who spend countless hours denying and escaping their daily reality of stress by immersing into the world of pornography.

The definition of internet addiction is largely understood in terms of how the time spent on the screen and keyboard interferes with normal and role-expected behavior.  Are work or social obligations being ignored? Is there an actual shift in conscious awareness occurring (eg.attention and focus on the moment disappears)?  Do endless hours pass without realization?
Do other potentially problematic habits regularly accompany internet activity such as drinking, overeating, overspending, chronic masturbation? Are normal family conversations stunted or non -existent?

We know that actual brain wave changes occur for many folks when they go on the internet, as well as neurotransmitter changes which regulate mood. For these reasons, it is likely that over dependence on the internet will become progressive and more and more difficult to give up.

Self diagnose your addiction. Be brutally honest with yourself. Attempt to identify what needs in your life are not being met by normal means. What are you really escaping from? Are there alternative ways you can reduce your stress or loneliness. Even serious bloggers like many of us are not immune if our need for recognition or approval from others is interfering with enjoying our lives in other ways. Get more information from me at info@ifbt.net”.


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Apologies readers, today just got away from me and I was unable to post our weekly Mental Health Monday but here it is.  This week, Dr. Barry Lubetkin explores sexuality, fetishism and fantasy, I’m sure you’ll want to read this week’s column.  Here is what he has to say:



BDSM_buttons_spanking_L (Photo credit: CapesTreasures)

Since I began my career over forty years ago, no book has ever stirred the passions of my female patients more then the “pornmantic” best seller Fifty Shades of Gray .  It gave a voice to the often hidden sexual drives of women who desire more than just the vanilla, missionary position, warm and cuddly sexual play. It brought BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism) out of the closet and into suburban bedrooms throughout America.


The powerful eroticism of enhancing sexual intimacy with fetishistic clothing, dominant submissive role playing, spanking, power exchange, etc., has finally been experienced by many thousands of couples who knew these fantasies existed in the deeper regions of their minds, but never felt free enough to express them. It is helpful that the main ethos of the BDSM community is to always keep these activities SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL. The Internet is full of websites designed to guide the adventurous into experiencing a more variable and satisfying sex life.


Far too many marriages suffer from a deteriorating sex life because partners are unwilling to “take a chance” and try something different. A 62 year old male patient had felt embarrassed and “perverted” to ask his girlfriend to wear a particular outfit during sex. Her willingness to do so greatly enhanced his arousal level and ultimately improved their sex life overall.


Be willing to have those initially embarrassing but ultimately freeing conversations with your partner about fantasies, turn offs, “hot spots” during sex play. Talk “dirty” if that moves you, try new body areas to explore, but always…ALWAYS, keep verbal communication going, so everyone remains on the same page. As always I am available at IBT104@aol.com for more info.”


Dr. Barry Lubetkin has been a guest on several talk shows including  the Oprah Winfrey show and Carole Altman’s. Ms. Altman is the author of Electrify Your Sex Life: How To Get Rid Of Sexual Hangups and Inhibitions.


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