Pbenjay's Blog

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It’s inevitable you know; It starts with the discussion/decision as to who is going to host the annual Thanksgiving Day dinner and then rapidly moves into the arenas of who should bring what and when should we eat.  That last particular question is the “thorn” in my side.  I grew up with having dinner in the afternoon, when I was married to my first husband we ate dinner in the afternoon and as I stated in a previous blog,  stayed at the table for the whole afternoon and evening until it was time for turkey sandwiches and more pumpkin pie!  My present husband grew up with the concept of Thanksgiving Dinner eaten in the early evening (maybe they didn’t want everyone to stay long enough for the turkey  sandwiches!).  I have kind of compromised on this point primarily because we don’t seem to have the kind of guests that like to play games and so no turkey sandwiches for them – we eat around 4pm.  This year may be different because Chiara and Tom and kids will be joining us and I think dinner time may have to be timed around naps – I don’t remember ever having that issue with my own, oh well…..

I have a list of Ten Taboo Topics you probably shouldn’t bring up during dinner.  Some of them are clearly meant for those wives (and husbands) who find themselves dining with the outlaws.

1. Don’t discuss bodily ailments, no graphic descriptions of recent illnesses or conditions.
2. Probably not a good time to rehash last year’s fiasco;  i.e.  when Uncle George got tipsy and fell into the dessert table  and your  sister’s  dog peed on the carpet.
3. Try not to be passive aggressive;  Your chubby cousin is reaching for second helpings of mashed potatoes and stuffing and you mention how quickly your best friend lost all that baby weight and is now thinner than ever.
4. The economy has been tough for everyone and even if you are the poorest of the church mice, this is not the time or place to complain about your bills, your lack of funds and loss of a job.
5. Blended families are difficult enough, so during this occasion, refrain from mentioning how in your family your mother always did….
6. If you and your husband are dining with both sets of parents, please don’t tell everyone how hard you two are working on getting pregnant – the visuals that appear in parent’s minds are not pretty!
7. NO POLITICS – enough said especially in light of the midterm elections; NO POLITICS!
8. That goes for off-color humor as well.  Tell your blue jokes to your friends, not your mom.
9. Even if your mother/family cooked gourmet Thanksgiving dinners with everything made fresh and from scratch, don’t make comparison comments.  They will NEVER be appreciated.
10. Religion – don’t even go there! If grace is said before the meal, just go along with the program, the host and most of the other guests don’t care if you are an atheist or a Buddhist – you’re a guest.

But you can make lots of conversation about:  weather, apolitical TV shows like Mad Men or 3rd Rock, recent vacations, funny characters from work, the delicious food, sports and if there’s some curmudgeon trying to pick a fight…mention puppies! Everybody loves puppies.

We’ll be taking a poll after Thanksgiving to find the most hilarious moment, the most awkward and the best side dish!!!

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