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Today is Gail’s birthday and although this is pretty late in the day, as long as I post this before midnight, I figure it counts.

My friend, Gail, who I have referred to in so many blogs has been a terrific supporter of Pbenjay as well as a consistent commenter.  I’ve asked her a couple of times to actually contribute a blog post, however, so far she has declined.  Maybe if you all write in and yell Gail, Gail…, she will!!

Besides dispensing invaluable advice and guidance in this venture as well as my other endeavor, PRESSents (more about that later), Gail sends me a variety of articles and ideas for blog posts, gift ideas and more.  I have a personal clipping service – and that’s pretty neat.

She is always encouraging me to stretch, go forward and take this to the next step-although we’re not quite sure what that next step would be, but we’re working on it, especially over a glass of wine.

I received some of the best and cleverest birthday cards from her and since I haven’t been in a decent card shop in ages, clearly she did not receive the same.  So Gail, when you read this, please know this is my very special birthday card to you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAIL

Gail's birthday cake

Happy Birthday Gail

 

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This is the day that many bloggers extoll the virtues of their Dads.  I am no exception.  I thought I would go back and re-read the blog I wrote last year to honor my Daddy -YES, even as a middle-aged woman, my father was still Daddy to me.

I read the 2011 blog and decided I couldn’t do any better this year.  I have many days when I miss my Dad dearly.  He was such a forceful presence in my life and I always leaned on him, looked to him for answers, asked him for help and of course argued with him.  We may have been cut from the same cloth but we sure didn’t agree on everything.

This one’s for you Dad again!

Dad in 2006

http://wp.me/pNyWj-24h

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It was Sunday afternoon and Peter and I finally headed to the Jersey Shore.  After opening up the cottage and letting some ocean breezes fill the house with fresh air, we set about doing the things you just gotta do when you’ve been gone over a week.  Read Peter you have to mow the lawn, fill the bird feeders, wash the sidewalk and and and…. I put away food, clean linens and laundry, unpacked bags and then decided to open up my computer and there was a Happy Memorial Day post from Joe!  WITH an invitation to stop by for a drink if we were in town. What a delightful idea!

I called Joe to say we would love to stop over, have a drink and take another look at the magnificent renovation/construction that had been done on his house over the winter.  Joe said he and Michael had a couple of friends staying with them and they were going to barbeque and we were certainly welcome to join them.

NOW, you see this is what I think makes a holiday memorable.  Friends are woven into the  fabric of your life.  We didn’t have any plans for the evening and then along comes a delightful invitation as a complete surprise from our friends, Joe and Michael.  What I love about them besides the fact that they are the  most perfect Yin and Yang couple is their generosity  of spirit.  They had house guests, close friends visiting from out of state and without  a moment’s hesitation, they included us in their party! 

I offered to bring dessert and with specific instructions about the importance of chocolate I went shopping.  I happened to be going to Costco and for some reason, this day, the bakery area was a bit shy in the chocolate department.  They had Black and White cookies but those only have some chocolate frosting and that’s only on one half;  The bakery also had shortbread cookies which are to die for but again only half the cookie has some chocolate coating.  Finally I spotted some Red Velvet Chocolate cupcakes.  They were huge and looked good, however, for good measure as the saying goes, I  tossed a bag of dark-chocolate-covered acai blueberries.  I don’t think you can ever have enough chocolate on hand, especially if it’s dark chocolate.

A barbeque at Joe’s is an event!  First of all, there were the guests;  we met Kelly who lives in LA and Austin and is a freelance commercial producer.  She spends considerable time on East Coast in NYC also and as of today is on her way to Prague to produce a Dove commercial.    And Lisa, who lives in Oakland and also works in advertising and has been Michael’s friend for years.  I had the opportunity to sit next to Lisa for part of the evening and really enjoyed talking to her.  Monica who is a neighbor was there and it was good to see her again.  She is a lively soul and has a very cute Yorkie who visits Madison regularly.  Monica, Christine and Rich had dinner plans elsewhere so I’m glad we got there early enough to connect with them all before they left for Taka.

Joe and Michael are among the MOST GRACIOUS hosts.  I want to call it Effortless Entertaining BUT I know it takes a lot of effort to plan and prepare an evening meal with many components.  They work seamlessly together;  one is cooking, the other is filling bowls, one is making drinks, the other is placing dishes and silverware out.  Really it is amazing to observe this culinary choreography!

We drank, we snacked, we drank some more, we ate, we drank a bit more and ate dessert.  Hours had gone by, I couldn’t believe the clock when I looked at the time!  We had to go but hey we were the altacockers anyway!!

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention how perfectly private the patio is now that Joe has redone the landscaping (again).  We were secluded behind beautiful greenery. 

Joel Lugo, Memorial day, Ocean Grove

A Good Host Takes Time To Listen Too!

Lisa, Kelly and Michael

First corn of the season, juicy tomatoes your choice of several kinds of grilled meats. Yummmmm

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hunnus, Finley, Finely Ray, Finny,

What could be better than eating hummus and watching TV in Mommy’s bed?

Finley Ray, Finny, red shoes

“STOP! or your face will freeze!”

Princesses, Finley, Stella, BFF

“I’m a Princess” “I”m a Princess” – “OK”

Finley, Finny Clark, purple coat, Chirstmas spectacular

All dressed up and ready to go to Radio City Music Hall

mani-pedi, pedicure, maicure, Finley Ray Clark

“I think you missed a spot on my thumb”

pajama day, Garden House nursery school, Finny, Finley Ray

Yay, it’s pajama day at school today!

Yankee Stadium, NY Yankees, Finny, Finley Ray Clark

Rooting for Swisher and eating ice cream – Way to go Fin!

Finley, Stella, ice cream run, Finley Ray Clark

Future Heartbreakers

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Passover plate with symbolic foods: maror, egg...

Passover plate with symbolic foods: maror, egg, haroset, karpas, zro'ah, dish of salt water

I haven’t taken the time to calculate how often the Jewish holiday of Passover coincides with Easter, but of course it does happen now and again.  That makes this weekend VERY HOLY and VERY  SPECIAL!

It started on Thursday for the Christians with Holy or Maundy Thursday services.  I remember them well.  This was the terrible night in the Garden of Gethsemane when, while Jesus prayed, Judas dropped the dime on him or in his case, 30 pieces of silver.  Now the term 30 pieces of silver has come to denote ultimate betrayal.  Once the deed was done, and Judas was remorseful he hung himself which only would have compounded his sins in the eyes of the Church.  But then again, there was no Church at that time!.

Next came Good Friday which ironically is one of the most somber days of religious observation for the Christians and an evening of joyous celebratory feasting for the Jews.  Although also threaded with somewhat somber overtones as the story of the Jews plight from Egypt is read at the evening’s Seder, it is also a time for families to gather together to share in this traditional meal replete with special and significant dishes.  While Jewish families are feasting on brisket, gifelte fish and matzoh ball soup, Christians are fasting between meals and eating only seafood as is their tradition on Good Friday.  Why do they call it GOOD?  I haven’t done any research prior to writing this blog and I’m ashamed to admit that 6 years in St. John’s Parochial School didn’t leave me with the answer, but if you know it, please share with us all.  My only guess is that according to my Catholic beliefs, it is characterized as good because that’s the day Jesus saved us all by sacrificing himself for our original sins – well that’s the way the story goes anyway.  Also, the word good is derived from the word pious which means holy, so perhaps we should refer to it as Holy Friday.  We always went to a long and arduous service on Good Friday;  There was the Stations of the Cross,  a long sermon and most of all I remember that at one point, the priest would call out things we would implore God to grant or guide us by responding with “Lord, Pray for us” or “Lord Hear Our Prayer”. One of my favorite memories, as I like to tell my Jewish husband,  is kneeling in church and the priest intoning something about the Jews of the world and our collective response “Lord, Hear our prayer” .

Today is Holy Saturday and as a kid, I remember it as thank God, we don’t have to go to church today, we can eat what we want and tomorrow although a going-to-Mass day would still be a celebration.  My girlfriends were allowed to gather but it was supposed to be a day of quiet play and I remember so clearly, sitting on my front steps playing ball and jacks with my two best friends.

This year Saturday is also the second night of Passover and we are on our way to Brooklyn to join in a non-religious Seder meal at my sister-in-law’s.   They will read from a Haggadah, however it will be devoid of any reference to God.  Mmmm unusual…but befitting of their own atheistic beliefs.

Tomorrow is Easter, the hat is ready, the outfit sort of picked out.  Photos to follow.

A Zissen Pesach and Happy Easter to all.

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One is Silver and the other is Gold.”

Two nights ago the Empire State Building was lit totally in green to celebrate the 100th year anniversary of the Girl Scouts of America!  Some things you just never forget and I always remember that Girl Scout saying about silver and gold friends.

Tonight I had dinner with a Gold friend, Janet.  We worked together when we both lived in Connecticut and we played together when we were both divorced moms with young pre-teen girls!  Tonight was a night of reliving fond memories, catching up on spouses, kids and grandkids.  There’s song that New Found Glory recorded; Right Where We Left Off and dinner tonight with my old friend was just like that!

This blog is a virtual hug for you, Janet and also a big Thank You to Murray, Pbenjay’s staff photographer.  Now what does one have to do with other?  Tonight Janet asked me, “Who is Murray?” After I explained our relationship grown out of a life-long friendship between Murray and my husband, Janet exclaimed and extolled the merits of Murray’s photos!  Well you don’t have to convince me, that’s for sure.  She mentioned that through his beautiful, artistic, striking and personal photos of New York City, she feels like she lives here (which is about 3,000 miles away from where she resides).

So this one’s for you Janet through the lens of Murray’s camera.

Girl Scouts, 100th anniversary, Manhattan, NYC

Celebrating Girl Scouts of America 100th Anniversary

Central Park, March 2012

Pink Blossoms-Manhattan in March

Central Park, New York city, volley ball
Central Park, stone bridge, two ducks, mallard, New York City

Strolling Ducks in the Park

Red tractor trailer truck,

This is Manhattan in March

Red tail hawk

Yes, A Hawk in Manhattan

AAll photos courtesy of Murray Head

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Stella, Finny, Finley Ray Clark, New Year's Day 2012

BFF - Happy New Year!

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Joel Berti

Joel is 40 years old today!! ! OMG, it’s hard to say it out loud!  How is it possible that my first born child, my son, is 40 years old?   This IS the only time I’m going to admit in writing that I actually have a 40 yr old son.

It doesn’t seem that long ago…I was supposed to attend one of my best friends’ wedding.  I had a doctor’s appointment that morning  and then I was going to be off to the wedding.  Well you know where this is going;  the doctor examined me and said “you’re not going to any wedding, you’re going straight to the hospital.  Where is your husband?”  I said, “He’s at work”.  So the doctor said, “Well how are you going to get to the hospital”?  “I’ll drive myself”!

So I called my husband’s office and left a message (these were the day before cell phones) and drove off to the hospital.  By the time I got there, I was a little panicked.  I was having contractions and  didn’t know what to do with the car so I pulled into the Emergency Room parking lot and parked the car.  As I was getting out of the car, a cop came running over, shouting, “Lady you can’t park there”!  I looked at him, started to cry and said, “I’m having a baby”!   Oh boy, that did it – he said, “Don’t  move” and went and got me a wheel chair.  Meantime, uh, where was that husband?

A couple of hours later, the nurse brought me a bundled blonde haired boy and I said, “Oh no, I had a girl”.  She assured me that this was my baby and I insisted that I had a girl. After one more go around of this conversation, she snatched the baby from my arms and said words to the effect that perhaps tomorrow I would feel differently about this beautiful little baby boy.

She was right of course.  Joel has my heart.  I love him for so many reasons;  he is a good person, kind-hearted, he never says anything bad about anyone, he is a gentle soul.  He is easy-going (sometime way too laid back for me), creative, a thinker, an artist, and smart enough to look inward often and assess what he sees.  He seeks the truth in all things, is often naive about people he meets, he adored his baby sister and often let her tag along with him and his friends.  I’m so happy that she flew out to California yesterday with Finley and Francesca to be with him on this landmark birthday.

I thought this post might be like an open letter, telling Joel how proud I am of him, how much I love him and hope that he is happy in the life he has chosen for himself.  He is very different from Chiara in so many ways and their lives are as diametrically opposite as the coasts they each inhabit. 

I wonder if he’s ever going to marry and settle down.  The path doesn’t seem to lead in that direction, time will tell.  I’d like to see him as a father, he seems so at ease with his nephew and nieces. 

Astrology, therapy, numerology, Frank Sinatra, new wave, Pseudolous, older women, younger women, surfing, GCA waiter,  room-mates, acting, writing in his journal, lactose-intolerant, allergic to my cats, Charlie Brown, Wilie Wonka, Mr. Smee, Hartford Stage, “why don’t you model?”, a vintage motorcycle, house music, Father Sarducci, Acme Theater, preppy Izods, Louise’s, La Jolla Country Club, bartending, catering, PB+J’s, oh those blue eyes,  tuna fish, sometimes  poor, playwright, roofer, Bee Pollen, beard-no beard, penguins, vintage tee shirts, Wrangler corduroy jeans, Halloween

Now if only he would return calls and call his mother more often……

I love you Joel Berti – Happy Birthday!!

Joel Berti

Joel in San Diego 2008

Finley Ray, Joel Berti, Finny

Joel and Finley

Sneak Joint, Joel Berti

Joel at The Sneak Joint in San Diego

Halloween, Joel Berti

Pumpkin Carving

vintage motorcycle

Ready to Roll

january 23 2005, Joel Berti, Lori Berti Press

My Wedding 2005

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The posts I thought I was going to do did not get done, quite obviously.  And it’s not because I brushed 9/11 aside.  Quite the contrary, Sunday night turned out to be the most emotional 9/11 I’ve had since the 9/11.

I went to a memorial service held in the Great Auditorium and within minutes I was in tears.  Between the solemnity of the occasion, the bagpipers, the flags, the orchestra, the two choirs and the speakers, not to mention the building, I was a wreck.

And why I didn’t think to bring tissues, I don’t know.  The speakers were all great but I have to say I was definitely partial to the Baptist Minister, former Secretary of State New Jersey.  He was quite the preacher man!

As I promised, I would post any memories sent in to me about 9/11/01, please read Heather’s account of that dreadful day, my generation’s day of infamy.

We had left Maine early on September 10th and were planning to stop in NYC to visit our daughter the next day.  We stopped overnight at a hotel in southern Connecticut to allow ourselves a relaxed time the next morning before heading into the city for our lunch date.  As we were getting dressed, my cell phone rang and it was our oldest son calling from his then home in Hatboro, PA asking if we were watching TV.  We had not been but the moment we turned it on, the only images we saw were the scenes of the first plane and then the second plane smashing into the World Trade Center buildings and the attendant misery as a stunned world watched.  Everybody was speechless and most of the hotel guests gathered in the lobby to watch the large TV and perhaps share the comfort of being around others

   Needless to say, we did not go into Manhattan that day but rather, several hours later, skirted around and headed south on the NJ Turnpike.  We were one of the only cars on that road.  The plumes of ash and smoke were clearly visible from the NJ side.  The rest stops were deserted and nearly all food outlets within them were shuttered.  The northbound traffic consisted of fire trucks and emergency vehicles ONLY.  It was a surreal spectacle and a surreal experience.
   To this day, whenever we pass along the NJ Turnpike,  we look over toward Manhattan, and we remember the tragedy of that horrific day.
I’ve blogged about Capt. Timothy Stackpole, whose memorial bracelet I ‘ve  been wearing for 10 years, my recent encounters with a fellow blogger and with Michele, two people who actually knew Captain Stackpole and went to his wake and funeral.  And last year I did a blog about 9/11 Then and Now.  See link below.

https://pbenjay.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=2914&action=edit

I featured the photo of the empty shoes which so poignantly spoke to the loss of so lives and how the left behind living try to cope when there’s no one there to fill those shoes.  That memorial display was in New Jersey and in New York City…

empty chairs, Bryant Park

A man remembers his father

photo by Murray Head

Timmy Stackpole, 9-11, memorial bracelet

Memorial bracelet - 10 Years

And Gail sent me this link to one man’s tribute to the wife he lost in The World Trade Center:


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It’s Thursday night, well actually early Friday morning and as the 10th anniversary of 9/11 approaches… events, memorials, remembrances,  prayer services, concerts, readings, forums, panels, meetings, articles, press releases, books, dedications, stories, songs and gatherings are coming together to honor those who died that day.

So in a way, consider this the Amuse-Bouchedu jour and just a little insight into one of the many ways those who survived have managed to continue to survive, using their loss and grief to find within themselves a way to express the deep emotions roiling inside. 

Michele the painter, Michele DiSimone

One of Michele's many watercolors in her book

I have a new friend and her name is Michele;  Attached below is an article written by another new friend, Richard of the BPlot, a weekly feature in The Coaster, a local Jersey Shore newspaper. 

http://thebplot.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/6000/

How are you honoring the 10th anniversary of the attack on the World Trade Center?  Where were you that day? Would you share some or all of your memories of that time and place in your life?   Please send in whatever comments you wish to make about 9/11 either then or now and I will post all.

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